Thing I don't understand: How can people be unkind and not feel guilty for being unkind. Like I really can't get pass this idea. Is it because people feel that, if these unkind things make themselves happy, it is okay? To me... if the people around are happy then it is okay... I tried to get some happiness for myself but I just don't know how to do that. I am really just happy being surrounded by kind and happy people.I felt really bad posting it on Facebook for my friend to see, so I will post it here for no one to see! I know no one reads this blog... because I really just don't have anything interesting to talk about! So I guess it is a rant place... so I can just cry about life!
No one really knows the true me.
I have started to realize it again. The true my doesn't smile all the time... the true me doesn't talk all the time. The true me is really quiet and boring. BUT her goal is to see others smile so she slaps on a smile. Sorry I tried to find happiness in a selfish way. I ended up making people my uncomfortable than I intended
I am just frustrated! I have no idea what I should do or the decisions I should make. I don't even know what I like... what makes me happy. I don't even know how to soul search. I want a family... I think that is truly it. I also want to be in Japan. If I have to be lonely, I would choose to be lonely in Japan.
People might say "but you won't have your family"
I have my family here and I just feel more and more pressure(or no support) from them being near them.
Obviously to not be supported you have to have something for them not to support.
I made some horrible decisions recently because I wanted to get my own happiness, didn't work so I am back to being alone.
Whatever!
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