Ate a lot but I still feel healthy

Oh my I was hungry! 3 hot dogs on a bun and around 6(it is 8:30 now) I had 2 just hot dogs without the buns and mac n' cheese.
I am actually not to worried about gaining weight. I actually never am worried about gaining weight ;P I am just worried about being healthy. Even if that means I am healthy at 140lbs or healthy at 120lbs! I think either way I will keep up eating the way I always eat.
I actually lost about 50lbs... not even doing anything to lose it(I know I always talk about wanting to lose weight and all this losing weight plans.  I just never follow through with them. Only thing is i just don't usually eat too much because i think my tummy is small. I can't eat the greasy food and I pretty much LOVE the "healthy food" <Then again I love any food that makes me feel healthy)
I have never really felt unhealthy at 195 and I don't feel unhealthy now. I have stretch marks on my body and i realized they are just the lovely scars that say I am alive. The 50ish lb weight gain was because I was trying to survive from an "incurable" sickness, and the stretch mark/scars are just proof.

I haven't mentioned this one here, but I was diagnosed with an autoimmune sickness called idiopathic pulmonary hemosiderosis. Ever since I was diagnosed I really didn't find it too horrible. Even when I gained weight... it was depressing but I knew it was the way for me to keep on moving forward in life. I also knew that one day I would get off the medication. But this isn't about getting sick this is about my weight...
I went from 135lbs to 195lbs pretty much overnight.
In about 2 weeks I will officially get off all the medication that caused me to gain weight. The last bit I am on will take 3 months to finally get out of my system... I wonder what will happen on the other end.
My current weight is 147lbs and my goal right now is between 120-135lb but the real goal is to be healthy. I will continue eating and drinking how I usually do, I enrolled in a yoga class not to loss weight but to be fit. To be able to loosen up my body, and just for fun.

Happy at 147. Threesize 38/34/38

Happy? at one 195lb-ish. threesize: 45/39/43

Stuff on my mind!

I just posted this on Facebook.... 

Thing I don't understand: How can people be unkind and not feel guilty for being unkind. Like I really can't get pass this idea. Is it because people feel that, if these unkind things make themselves happy, it is okay? To me... if the people around are happy then it is okay... I tried to get some happiness for myself but I just don't know how to do that. I am really just happy being surrounded by kind and happy people.

No one really knows the true me.
I have started to realize it again. The true my doesn't smile all the time... the true me doesn't talk all the time. The true me is really quiet and boring. BUT her goal is to see others smile so she slaps on a smile. Sorry I tried to find happiness in a selfish way. I ended up making people my uncomfortable than I intended

I felt really bad posting it on Facebook for my friend to see, so I will post it here for no one to see! I know no one reads this blog... because I really just don't have anything interesting to talk about! So I guess it is a rant place... so I can just cry about life!
I am just frustrated! I have no idea what I should do or the decisions I should make. I don't even know what I like... what makes me happy. I don't even know how to soul search. I want a family... I think that is truly it. I also want to be in Japan. If I have to be lonely, I would choose to be lonely in Japan.
People might say "but you won't have your family"
I have my family here and I just feel more and more pressure(or no support) from them being near them.
Obviously to not be supported you have to have something for them not to support.
I made some horrible decisions recently because I wanted to get my own happiness, didn't work so I am back to being alone.

Whatever!

Off to San Diego tomorrow!

I am going to San Diego for ComicCon, so we are heading out tomorrow! ^_^ So stay tune for some youtube videos on my channel and some picture spam!!!

Remember every Friday I post up new videos! ^_^ 

Class Schedule for next year, weight loss recently

So next semester I am starting new at a new school. I will finally get my Associates and here is my class schedule!

I am very excited for my new classes, I will get to learn about interesting things

I have been losing some weight, a pound a day(maybe)
My current measurements are;
39-33-39
96.5-84-99

My weight loss since 2010, I will post one of these every Friday along with my videos, but I will start with 148lbs


Goal is: 59kg
7.7 kg to go

Update on my Exercises: Day 20

I haven't lost weight, I am going around 149lbs. I am still around 32-33inch waist. So I really haven't changed to much but I wanted to just update. ^_^

Not much of a change. I just plan to use this skort as my comparasion

With clothes

Yep

Fabulous Friday: My Non-Existing Love Life

I really want a boyfriend, at the same time I don't! Life can get so confusing when you go through so much pain for something you want. Right now I have given up on love but I will go back into the game when I feel it is time to. The only one that will change me is my Prince! 

I will try to update more, nothing really interesting has happened. 

I will be going to San Deigo in a few weeks. Look forward to that! ^_^ 

Well byess! 

Bath and Body Works' Aromatherapy

I came up with another Recommendation Video but this one is in English! Please watch it! ^_^